So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Death by kayak

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops