How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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wat?

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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CHEEZECAKE

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops