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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

BIG MAC'S

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

Why did the chicken cross the road...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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