Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Chlamydia

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops