What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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