Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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someone called someone else a frog

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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