How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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How High is a Chinese man

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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