why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -11

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Canadians

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

non poop

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops