What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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