How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

thumb_up thumb_down -26

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops