michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops