Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

guess what what that wasnt it

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

your face is kinda funny

Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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