roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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1134

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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