i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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Obama.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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