What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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(Insert joke here)

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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