-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops