Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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I need to start studying.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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i have a christmas tree.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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