Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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hi

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops