Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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