Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

thumb_up thumb_down -4

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops