What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops