A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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WNBA

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Joke

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

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A Sloth runs...

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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My Butthole.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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