I like touching my boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops