A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Its true, he didnt write that!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is black and looks like a person A black person

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops