Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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meh

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops