Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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