Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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women's rights

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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I regret everything.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops