- Anti Joke

Women's rights.

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

Is maynaise an instrument?

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

your social life.

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! gives offended look and walks away

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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