What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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Winter

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How old is your mom Dead

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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honest politician

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops