What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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