How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

thumb_up thumb_down +11

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops