what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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