Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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69 :)

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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