Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Black Friday

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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I love pissing people off :P

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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69

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops