A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Hey, Max!!

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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