canada

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I grunt when I poop.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Cool Brian

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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women's rights.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops