How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Women's rights

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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child labor

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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hey John will you make some copies

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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