An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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bees knees

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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