Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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