What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Where is my tractor?

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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SNAPPLE!

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops