One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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what sucks? things that suck

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I'm hungry.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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