Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The black man leaves the strip club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops