How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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