If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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