What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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how did the man die he didnt

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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