A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Women's rights.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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