Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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