They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Im black

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Your dads dead. lol

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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shut up iggy

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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