A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris screams in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

haha. i got blocked too!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops