Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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Women's rights.

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops