What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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chuck norris

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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